The Real Jedi Punks
by Carii Storm
Summary: Everyone's favorite NJO Jedi band together to form a punk band! Read on!
1. Default Chapter

Ok, one quick note: this was written with complete abandon of "reality" and shouldn't be read if you take Star Wars too seriously! And, also, this was written by the Psychopathic Jedi, a group of authors who terrorize ;) the forums at starwars.com, and it was written because we Psychos got sick of all the death, gloom and doom you find in the NJO. So, we banded together to create a comical relief, and we hope you get some laughs out of it! If you are interested in joining the Psychopathic Jedi, go to the Books and Comics forums at Starwars.com and inquire at the 'Ongoing Comedy: Jedi Punks' thread, or go straight to the cantina at galacticbasic.net/forum/, and ask around. ( We hope you enjoy the story, and with out further ado, we present The Real Jedi Punks. 


	2. Chapter 1: Hidden Talents

DISCLAIMER: All characters are property of LucasFilm, and therefore, this (and all other stories bearing the name "Jedi Punk") may not be published. Please do not take credit for this (all-inclusive) with out permission from the authors.  
  
JEDI PUNKS: PART I: HIDDEN TALENTS  
  
Jacen gazed at the swirling colors of hyperspace. He was sitting alone in the cockpit of his sister's personal ship, the Fizz Hound. A data pad lay in his lap. Why weren't the lyrics coming to him???  
  
Jacen reached up to be sure that his Mohawk had stayed in place. His mother hadn't been pleased when he let his hair grow a full 30 cm, died it blue and used SuperHoldToughGuyGel to spike it up on top of his head. But that wasn't why he left home with his twin sister, younger brother, and friends Tenel Ka and Lowbacca and Zekk.  
  
The familiar presence of Jaina pulled him from his revere. She sank into the pilot's chair to his left. As she lowered herself into the chair, she pulled her tube top up securely, so as not to show too much cleavage. Jaina felt her brother would be more comfortable that way.  
  
Jaina ran a hand through her own hair, which she had grown to .75 meters below her chin, and shot the brown through with purple streaks. "Anything?"  
  
Jacen shook his head. "Not a single word, nor a single note!"  
  
Jaina let out a sigh. "Jace, punk brother of mine," Jacen smiled. "Let the Force guide you. Come to the Grunge Side! Let your head banging urges surface! You can't fight them!  
  
Jacen shrugged, "Yeah, you're right."  
  
"WASSUP!!!!!!" The youngest Solo child entered the room. Jaina looked at him, wondering if it was his long pink hair that made him look so much shorter than her.  
  
"WAZZZZZUUPPPPP!!!!!" Jacen and Jaina answered in unison.  
  
"Dude," Anakin said, looking at Jacen. "Have you thought of something yet?" Jacen shook his head. "Oh, that's okay. "Sides, dinner's ready."  
  
"Who cooked?" Jaina asked.  
  
"Lowie."  
  
"I asked you who COOKED. You know Lowie always under does the meat."  
  
* * *  
  
All of the sudden a tremor ran through the Fizz Hound. The ship shuddered, and a loud noise came from the engine, (though that was quickly drowned out by the Heavy Metal music coming from the overhead speakers).  
  
"What was that, like, noise, dudes?" asked Anakin, nervously running his hand through his pink hair.  
  
Tenet Ka's voice came over the ship's speakers from the cockpit, "Jaina! You and Zekk get your pilot rears up here now! Looks like someone wants autographs!"  
  
"They're on their way," called Tahiri from the galley.  
  
"Wassup!!!" Zekk called as he slid smoothly into the copilot's chair.  
  
Jaina took her own seat, this time to preoccupied to worry about her shirt, and began a preliminary sensor sweep. Her eyes fell and Zekk could feel the fear welling inside his girlfriend.  
  
"Jaina? What's--" He realized what threw her into a panic. "Oh, darn."  
  
Tenel Ka retreated to the galley, long black hair trailing her.  
  
Not long after she left, the young Solo boys came jogging into the cockpit.  
  
Jaina took a deep breath; let it out in a sigh. She keyed up the in-ship intercom, "Sorry, guys. Party's over."  
  
Lowie's unhappy grumble came in reply, with a second from Tahiri. "What? What do you mean it's ov-er."  
  
"Dad's here," Jaina commed. "He's brought Uncle-- er, Master Skywalker with him."  
  
Anakin looked confused, "Why aren't they hailing us?"  
  
Jacen swallowed hard, "They're trying to get our attention."  
  
This time Zekk spoke up, "Well, should we give it to them?" He opened up a comm channel for Jaina.  
  
Jaina's voice shook, despite her greatest efforts. "Uh, h-hi, Dad, Uncle Luke. Uhhh-h, glad you could drop by?"  
  
"WHAAAZZZUP!" blared the com channel. Jaina was taken aback.  
  
"Dad?" she asked tentatively. "Hey there sweetheart" said Han, "I knew you'd be passing through this way. And guess what? I even brought your old uncle Luke!"  
  
Luke took the comm, "Hey kids, it's me. If y'all wanna be a real hep cat with that rock'n'roll thing, stay clear of the Dark side and we'll call it a square!"  
  
Lowie's rumbling laughter was accompanied by his uncle's aboard the Falcon. Tahiri was quick to join them.  
  
Jaina smacked her head down on the console. "Uncle Luke, with all due respect, ACT YOUR AGE!!!!!!!!"  
  
"You groovy cats don't say that stuff?"  
  
Jacen spoke into the pickup, "No."  
  
"No offense, Master Skywalker," Tenel Ka commed, "but that kind of lingo died out, oh, BEFORE THE START OF THE OLD REPUBLIC!!!!!!"  
  
"Sorry, kids," Han said. "I tried to warn him, Chewie tried to explain it to him, but, well… you try to explain something like that to a Jedi Master."  
  
The Wookies' laughter dominated the comm waves.  
  
"Well, hey, Han, I think I heard you try to talk like an idiot!" Luke defended himself.  
  
"Hey, kid, at least I did it right."  
  
"You guys want to come aboard for a few minutes?" Jaina invited, trying to be civil. "We were on our way to Corellia for our first gig, but we left a few days' delay allotment before the concert."  
  
"Would you like to watch it?" Tahiri asked.  
  
The adults seemed to think. An answer finally came, "Okay, kids, tell you what. You go on to Corellia, and we'll follow behind you. I'll send Leia and Mara a message telling them to meet us there. Okay?"  
  
"Cool with us," Zekk answered.  
  
"Alright," Luke said. "See you there."  
  
The trip to Corellia went smoothly enough. A lively holonet game of Pokemon was played, of which one Yodimus Prime (their opponent) was the winner. Lowie's steaks were rare and still dripping blood. No one was too hungry after that except Jacen, who managed to set fire to his data pad while cooking a dewback rib. He was glad his father and uncle weren't there to see it.  
  
Mara and Leia arrived in the Jade Sabre the day before the concert. Before the women had left, Leia sent an invitation to the Hapes Cluster, inviting Tenel Ka's parents, who arrived within an hour of the Sabre.  
  
After hugs, greetings, and the inevitable criticism of new hair and fashion sense, each group retired to the ships they had come in, except for Leia and Luke, who changed places. Naturally.  
  
* * *  
  
The day of the gig finally came. Zekk donned a pair of oversized red pants and a red shirt that had "True Punk" written in black, long black hair in a ponytail. Jaina wore a gold tube top, with similar lettering across the front, and crimson leather pants that fit snuggly around her hips and thighs, then flared out around her shins and ankles; her hair was left to hag nearly to the ground. Jacen had his blue hair spiked in its normal punk style, his black, baggy clothes (his shirt also reading, "True Punk") and spiked "dog collar" necklaces being his trademark. Tenel Ka dressed in a similar manner: hair dyed black and in tiny braids all over, black lipstick and nail polish standing out from her lime green attire of big, balloon- like pants and shirt reading the same thing as everyone else's. Anakin was clad in a ripped-- no, shredded-- flight suite, with "True Punk" written on the front, Tahiri in similar clothes. Lowbacca looked the same, except for the "True Punk" shaved onto his torso.  
  
Lowie took his place at the drum set, back center stage. Anakin and Tahiri shared a microphone to his immediate right: Tahiri with a keyboard around her neck, Anakin holding a bass guitar. Jacen and Tenel Ka shared a mike to Lowie's left, the latter also wielding a bass guitar, Jacen manning a guitar (for back up). Zekk and Jaina- the eldest couple-- took their place at the microphone in front of Lowbacca, both lead singers, both wielding guitars.  
  
The crowd cheered and the giant doors slid back into their recesses, adding a little high-tech flare.  
  
Jaina screamed into her mike, "HELLO CORELLIA!!!!!!" The crowd cheered in response.  
  
Jacen yelled into his own mike, "Are you ready to rock!!!!!!!!!!" The cheers grew louder.  
  
Zekk took the microphone from Jaina, "Then let's roll!!!!"  
  
Lowie held the drum sticks over his head, tapping the beat out for their first song ever in public.  
  
Tenel Ka and Anakin struck a fast moving chord, Tahiri played intervals. Lowie rolled the drum, crashed the cymbal, and Zekk and Jaina took lead on their guitars.  
  
Jaina started the vocal part: "Usin' the Force and fightin' evil warlords."  
  
Zekk continued (with a great deal of "soul"), "Cruising' the galaxy and savin' all the people."  
  
Jacen and Tenel Ka continued in a duet, the former playing a variation of what his sister was playing- Tenel Ka on top, Jacen on bottom. "Bein' a Jedi, it's no easy game-"  
  
In the audience, Chewie howled in delight. Leia, Tenenial Djo and Mara: perplexed (they had never heard the children play before, and thought them quite good), with Han, Luke, and Isolder having made their way to the front row, and started a head banging chain.  
  
The women took some action: stepping beside their husbands, each giving them a backhand to the shoulder, vowing to "deal with them later." Chewie is left alone, and the chaos soon continues, this time, the women have joined the head banging and screaming.  
  
The concert ended a few hours later, and the audience was left with their ears ringing at the sudden silence. Tahiri, Anakin, Jacen, Jaina, and whoever else was there all left the sage. They changed back into normal (what they considered normal) clothes and met their parents at a bar. They all had Corellian beer and got good and drunk before flying away. Jaina could hardly see straight, let alone fly the ship. They somehow ended up near the outer rim...  
  
Anakin and Jacen took turns dying their hair over again, and this time Jacen settled on neon green and Anakin wore his hair neon pink streaked with neon blue.  
  
They all had a food fight at breakfast, and by then Han and Luke figured out how to talk.  
  
Mara and Leia and Tenel Djo fussed over the kid's appearance, the next show was for the Couscant senate.  
  
Everyone arrived on Coruscant a few weeks before the concert. The band's members decided to mingle with the city to loosen up. On this particular day, they all had gone to a bar Zekk knew about, called "The Endless Tankard". All of them knew that the patrons of the place would talk a bit much after a few drinks.  
  
They did not have long to wait. "Have you got the music cards?" asked a being in the booth who was sitting with his back to Jaina.  
  
Jaina raised her eyebrows at Anakin, implying him to look. "It's a Bothan," he projected through the Force.  
  
The Bothan's partner was talking "Yes Chief, this one's 'The Pain of Victory' by that Barabel group. The other one is 'Hyperspace Road' by Fixer and the Sun Chasers."  
  
"Very well" said the Bothan, here's your credits, and I hope we can do business in the future."  
  
The Bothan's partner exited the booth. A short time later, after downing his glass, the Bothan also left. "Well," said Anakin "We know he likes rock'n'roll. Those bands are like, totally the boss!"  
  
Jaina's face meanwhile had gone rather pale. " Guys," she said hoarsely, "that was Borsk Fey'lya!"  
  
"Fey'lya!!" they said. Jacen nodded. "When did he get into rock and roll?"  
  
Jaina laughed. "Don't ask me." They eventually decided to follow the Bothan. After walking to the lowest level, lower then they dreamed possible, Fey'lya stopped. He handed the chips to someone hidden by the shadows. Tahiri snuck up behind him, using the Force to be quiet, a rare feature now a days.  
  
"Mr. Fey'lya. A pleasure to see you again!" Jacen forced with a smile. The Bothan spun around with a blaster, which Anakin noticed was not set for 'stun'.  
  
Mara snuck up behind the Jedi Punks. She set her blaster for 'stun', not knowing whether or not Fey'lya should be kept alive. She heard the words, "you'll never live through this!" and rounded out of the shadows. The Bothan had a single blaster pointed at the numerous Jedi.  
  
Mara almost laughed. "You don't think they couldn't defend themselves?" she asked. Fey'lya jumped. She took this chance to shoot him.  
  
Jaina laughed and passed a mug of Corellian ale to Jacen.  
  
"Aunt Mara, that was great! He didn't even know you were there!" Jacen said.  
  
"Yes, and neither could you because of this" said Mara. She held out a medium size necklace for all to see. Something dark was encased in lightweight transparisteel.  
  
"Is that a ...ysalamiri?" asked Jacen.  
  
"Yes," said Mara, "we no longer need the whole animal to impair someone's ability to use the Force. This is just a small bit of its skin."  
  
Satisfied with the explanation, all attention turned to the prone figure of Borsk Fey'lya. "Well," said Jaina, "what do you think we ought to do with him?"  
  
Tahiri stepped closer to Mara to examine the necklace. "That's just a piece of skin?" she twisted her face into one of disgust. Mara nodded. "That is, like, DEFINATELY the most REVOLTING thing I have EVER heard of! Ewe!"  
  
It was either all the booze or the sight of raw flesh that brought up Tahiri's lunch.  
  
Mara gestured towards the Bothan at her feet. "So, what do we do with the old carpet anyway?" Lowie was too drunk to protest with anything besides a hiccup.  
  
Jacen looked around. "Well, you hit him with a stun bolt right?"  
  
Mara nodded, "And not very strong. He'll wake up in a few minutes."  
  
Anakin looked around as well. "Hmmmm. How about that dumpster over there?" he said, pointing to a large trash receptacle.  
  
Jaina turned from the dumpster to raise an eyebrow at her brother. "THAT dumpster? That is not a dumpster! THAT is a vaporization unit!"  
  
Anakin shrugged.  
  
Mara nodded, "Yeah, so?"  
  
Zekk raised an eyebrow, "Well are we going to vape the leader of the NR like filthy criminals, or sit around and tell him what we thought about doing?"  
  
Jaina finished for him, "Cuz he's wakin' up."  
  
Jacen motioned for everyone to step back out of sight. Striding quietly over to Fey'lya, Jacen used the Force to alter the way he perceived Jacen: slightly taller, gangly, and with a few day's worth of beard stubble growing on his chin.  
  
Jacen knelt beside Borsk. "Whoa, man, that was some fall." As he said it, Jacen made his voice appear deeper-- much deeper-- than it actually was through the Force.  
  
"Fall?"  
  
Jacen helped Fey'lya to his feet. "Yeah, you came down pretty hard. I saw you go down as you turned the corner. Gotta cut back a bit on that hard stuff you Bothans like to drink. Lucky you're not human, a drop woulda knocked ya' dead cold!"  
  
By now, the Bothan was standing, albeit unsteadily. "Uh, thank you."  
  
Jacen dismissed it with a wave of his head. "Shoot, don't worry! It wasn't any trouble! You need some help gettin' home?"  
  
"Huh? Uh, no, I don't think so."  
  
Jacen projected uncertainty into Fey'lya's mind. "Do you know where you live?"  
  
Borsk didn't move. He couldn't remember who he was, where he was, or where he lived. But of course, dignity demanded that he not say so. "Yeah. Yeah, sure. I'll be fine. Don't worry 'bout me. I know what I'm doin'."  
  
"Okay." Jacen gave the Bothan a shove in the wrong direction to the Palace-- on purpose (duh). "Take care now, bye bye then."  
  
Jacen laughed, and the rest of the party came back into view. Jaina jabbed an elbow into her brother's stomach. "Are you crazy?!?!" She demanded loudly.  
  
Jacen went to answer, but Zekk cut him off, "That was a rhetorical question, stupid!"  
  
Try as he might, Jacen (and most of the group) could not recall what all these big words meant, on account of their drunkenness. Zekk, Jaina, and Mara, obviously, had had enough to drink in their lives to have built up a resistance to certain effects. Jacen could have, but he wasn't that sober anymore.  
  
Jacen laughed. "Oh, well. Too bad for Fey'lya. Who should lead the NR now?"  
  
Jaina raised an eyebrow. "Not any of us, cuz we're suppose to be on Tatooine right now," she said.  
  
Jacen stuck out his bottom lip. "Can we skip one concert? Pretty please Jaya?" he asked.  
  
Jaina looked doubtful. "Sure, why not. Who would want to go to Tatooine willingly, anyway?" she replied.  
  
Tahiri giggled. "Hey! That's not funny!" she said. 


	3. Return of the Sith

Jedi Punks: Part 2: Return of the Sith  
  
Jaina opened what seemed to be a small, round ball. It had the color of white on the bottom portion, and the top was colored red. She pressed the small, round button in the middle of it, and it seemed to open up slowly. Suddenly, a white flash came, and a small yellow creature with plump red cheeks and brown streaks on its back came out of the ball.  
  
Jaina said, "Oh, how cute!" She hugged the little fur ball. Suddenly, she was shocked and her whole body was engulfed with lightning sparks. She immediately let go of the creature.  
  
She screamed, "Sith! That creature knows Force lightning!"  
  
She immediately took out her lightsaber and cut the little fur ball in half. "Well, that's one less Sith we have to take care of", she proclaimed.  
  
The punks all left for their favorite tap caf to meet Leia, Han, and Luke there. (Jaina still was worried about the cute lighting thing. it had said, pickachu before she killed it...) They decided to skip the Tatooine concert, ignoring protests from Tahiri and Luke, and decided to go party on Endor for a while.  
  
They were graciously made members of the Ewok tribe when they got there and introduced 'head banging' to the large teddy bears.  
  
The Ewoks were especially interested in the electric guitars from the band. Tenel Ka gave one to one of the little fur balls, but their furry paw-like- hands kept getting stuck in the wires...  
  
"Let's get out of here before they discover the stereos..." Jaina said, revving up the ship  
  
On the ship, Anakin felt that a fan club wouldn't be forming anytime too soon on Endor. He decided that that would be okay, since the Ewoks really hadn't gotten head banging and they really couldn't mosh pit correctly: Anakin found that out the hard way. He remembered apologizing profusely to the four Ewoks he had reduced to gelatinous masses when he tried to mosh pit.  
  
Oh, well. He reached for a new box of artificial hair coloring. The pink and blue thing was getting old, so he streaked his and Lowie's hair/fur with neon green and orange. Their next stop on the tour list was... he couldn't remember where. Jacen and Jaina were practicing/holding a private jam session with Tenel Ka and Zekk in the cargo hold, and though it was good music, he couldn't think straight. Either it was the music, or the beer. Maybe it was both.  
  
Tahiri found Anakin in the 'fresher. "Whoa, love the hair!"  
  
"Thanks!" Anakin decided that it was indeed, NOT the beer. He hadn't been drinking all day. Maybe the spice had something to do with it...?  
  
A howl over the intercom from the cockpit cut the exchange short. Emteedee translated Lowie's howl with WAY too much pleasure. "Mistress Jaina, Master Zekk, Lowbacca says that there are several somethings emerging from hyperspace. Personally, I think we're doomed. This whole thing was a mistake. Now we have to pay for it with our lives!"  
  
A snap-hiss, an electronic squeal, and the strange sound of charred metal silenced the C3PO-made translator.  
  
"The only thing we've ever had to pay for," Jacen said from the cargo hold, "was letting Threepio make that stupid droid."  
  
Jaina agreed. "Yup." Then to Lowie, "We'll be right up."  
  
Upon entering the cockpit, Zekk identified the "several somethings" as being more of those pesky red and white orbs.  
  
Zekk let out a wail. Jaina raised an eyebrow, "Oh, they wanna play, do they? Jacen, Tenel Ka, get in the guns! Don't fire until those little furry creatures come out though. Stupid little rodents."  
  
The couple in the turrets never had to fire a single shot. The yellow creatures did come out of the little red and white balls, accompanied by orange creatures and birdlike things. But, the vacuum of space sucked the life out of the little devils before they could pump more Force lightning onto the Punks.  
  
Zekk laughed out loud. Jaina muttered, "Serves you right, dumb little Sith things."  
  
"I don't get it," said Anakin. "Where did they come from?"  
  
"I don't know, Anakin. I don't know," replied Jaina.  
  
Suddenly, a howl filled the comm unit. Now Jaina regretted hacking Emteedee into halves. She understood what Lowie said for the most part, though. Roughly translated, it was "Auuugh! More of them! Cargo hold 3!" Alarmed, Jacen, Anakin, Tahiri and Jaina sprinted off towards the cargo hold.  
  
"Lowie? Lowie!" they called. They opened the door to hold #3,and were shocked to see hundreds upon hundreds of the red and white balls! Several yellow critters were saying "Pikachu!" and zapping poor Lowie, who was trying to fend the little savages off with his bronze lightsaber, but to no avail. He had smoldering patches of fur all over.  
  
The four ignited their blades and slashed the creatures into smoking bits and then all five, plus Zekk who had rushed down, started hacking the balls apart. The orbs were opening and more and more vermin popped out, all shouting "Pikachu?" and zapping everyone.  
  
They all cried out loud at various times when a little Sith thing got them with an energy bolt. Suddenly, one yellow thing started to glow, and then it morphed into another rat! The Knights cried out in horror and set about killing the things ten times faster. Then they sprinted for the door, gasping for breath and leaned heavily against it.  
  
"That- (gasp) was (wheeze) close," whispered an out of breath Jaina. "I've never seen anything like that! Uncle Luke probably would be fascinated by them, but let's open the hold to vacuum before they reproduce or whatever!"  
  
The Jedi punks were just going to open the hold when more of them appeared. Jaina screamed with exasperation as a little yellow creature said "Pickachu!" She hacked it up into pieces with her lightsaber. The others were just as busy, slashing up the creatures before they could 'morph.  
  
Jaina found herself in front of an escape pod- she got an idea. "Hey! Grab some provisions and we can escape!" she said to Jacen. A few minutes later he came back with -what a wonder- a six-pack of beer and some ration bars.  
  
Jaina opened the escape pod. She and Jacen hurried inside, followed by Anakin, Tahiri, Tenel Ka, and Lowie. She shut the door and they felt the escape pod shoot off into space.  
  
They all sat there panting for a while. Jaina took a look at the burns from electrical shocks on her clothing. Her favorite gold tube top!  
  
"Um, people?" Jacen said suddenly. Jaina glanced at him and instantly knew what he was thinking.  
  
"We just left Zekk on the ship!" she said frantically. Anakin narrowed his eyes and stared out a window at the distant ship.  
  
"What are you doing?" Jaina asked suspiciously when she felt her little brother reaching out with the force.  
  
"I'm going to use the Force to take us back to the ship, but I need help." he said.  
  
"Okay." Tahiri replied, also narrowing her eyes and staring at the ship. Jaina felt them lurch the other way- back towards the 'pickachu' things. Just the thought of the little creatures made her dizzy. Or maybe that was because she was in the cold of space wearing a tube top in a spinning capsule?  
  
* * *  
  
Zekk realized he was alone on the ship. He found about twenty more red and white balls in the food prep unit, and wondered if they were a food dish gone mad. He rejected the idea when a huge sleeping creature emerged from one of the balls.  
  
"This is a new Sith creature. I'm sure it'll be twice as hard to defeat," he said to himself. Where was everyone else?  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
Jaina watched as the ship drew closer. Jacen had joined Anakin and Tahiri when they lost concentration and the ship started whirling all around space, straight for an asteroid. Zekk was reaching out with the Force for them, trying to find them. Jaina sent a feeling of reassurance, and then wondered if they would ever make it back to the ship with Anakin's lousy steering.  
  
Zekk was very glad to see Jaina and Jacen join his fight against this new creature. It was holding two bent spoons and kept disappearing when he tried to kill it. "By the lords of the Sith, stay still!"  
  
Jaina slashed up the creature as it materialized in front of her. Anakin and Tahiri were just sending the last of the red and white balls into space as they killed the last pickachu. He happily sat back down with Lowie in front of the ship's controls and they programmed a course to Eclipse to see what help they could get from the other Jedi against these red and white balls. 


	4. Two More Problems

When they arrived at Eclipse, Jaina was stunned to see the redecoration. She held back her laughter. Uncle Luke had a lot to catch up on: the walls were painted colors like bright pink and orange with flowers and rainbows on them. People wore oddly colored sunglasses and guys had their hair long and wore unwashed clothes. The new lightsaber models were also colored outrageously, with striped blades and polka dotted handles.  
  
"Hi!" Mara said, glaring back at someone as she greeted them. Luke and Han were arguing over something. Jaina couldn't help it any longer. She burst out laughing.  
  
Just then, Han walked in....with a mullet and purple-tinted glasses. "Dad! your embarrassing us!" Jacen and Jaina said. Tenel Ka and Zekk snorted, and Lowbacca growled something.  
  
Emteedee's upper half said, "Lowbacca is pointing out that master Solo has quite a lot more hair than he does..." Lowbacca stepped on him, permanently damaging the stupid thing  
  
Han put on his best what-did-I-do-I'm-perfectly-innocent face. "What did I do? I'm perfectly innocent!"  
  
Mara raised an eyebrow at him. "The day a Corellian is right about being perfectly innocent is the day I shave my head."  
  
Han didn't say anything, just handed Mara an electric razor.  
  
"Thanks," she said sarcastically. "But I don't think Luke will like that idea much."  
  
Han waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, don't worry about him. He's clueless." Han turned toward his brother-in-law, who was dancing to a step called, "The shotgun." He raised his voice to be heard over the music, "Isn't that right, Luke?"  
  
Luke stopped and stared back with a blank expression on his face, "Huh?"  
  
Mara turned back to the Solos and shook her head.  
  
"What are shaking your head like that for, Mara?" Han asked. "I'm willing to bet that that's a look you get a lot from him."  
  
Mara smiled and tossed the razor back to him. "I think you'll be needing this more  
  
than I will. H'mm?"  
  
* * *  
  
Jaina realized that they were being followed by someone as the punks left to find some sanity. She determined that there were two people following them by reaching out with the Force.  
  
"Gosh darn it, you two! Can't we go anywhere without you?" Zekk said angrily to Valin and his sister.  
  
The two shook their heads. "Nope." Jysella said innocently.  
  
Jaina sighed.  
  
"Fine. You can follow us, as long as you follow us from a very long distance. And please go change your clothes. Uncle Luke has you poor people in outfits from before known humanity." she said to the two. They smiled identically and rushed off. Jaina was surprised at how gullible they were...  
  
* * *  
  
Tahiri giggled.  
  
"What happened to you?" she asked Anakin.  
  
He glared at her. "How was I supposed to know that brown hair didn't dye yellow?" he said gruffly.  
  
Tahiri thought he sounded like Han when he was angry. "I can help you re-do it." she offered.  
  
Anakin thought for a minute. "Okay. But no more of you own hairstyles. Just dye it." he replied.  
  
Tahiri grinned. "Oh, don't worry. I'll stick to just the dye." she said, already coming up with a 'do in mind.  
  
Anakin looked doubtful.  
  
A few minutes later, he stared in astonishment at Tahiri's dye job. "What did you do?!?" he asked, surprised at his girlfriend.  
  
Tahiri giggled uncontrollably. "I only used dye!" she said, pointing out the obvious fact.  
  
"But you messed my head up!" he protested.  
  
Anakin's hair was striped, polka dotted, and basically tie-dyed. He looked like an escapee from a circus.  
  
"No I didn't!" Tahiri said.  
  
Anakin ran his fingers through his hair. "I look like one of uncle Luke's deranged Jedi!" he said.  
  
Jaina walked by the door, did a double take, and came in. "What did you do?" she asked, giggling.  
  
Anakin shook his head in defeat. "I let Tahiri dye my hair. Oh well. There's a first and a last time for everything." he replied.  
  
Tahiri got herself under control and grinned. "But I did just what he told me." she explained.  
  
Jaina looked between the two of them, giggled again at Anakin, and said, "Well, we're on in a concert for Eclipse in about three minutes." Anakin nearly screamed.  
  
"You expect me to go out in public like this?!?"  
  
Jaina shrugged. She headed for the door. "Sure--wear a hat." she said.  
  
Tahiri stared guiltily at the floor. She giggled again, despite herself.  
  
Anakin was just about to say something, when a sound came from the ship's intercom. He could make out Jacen, and Tenel Ka. Giggling laughter and loud Wookie roars, also laughter, played into his ears. Tahiri left behind Jaina, and a few minutes later, the com shut off, leaving Anakin alone to mess with his hair.  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Valin and Jysella hurried to change clothes: Anakin and Jaina told them to. They put on some crazy clothes, and Valin pulled out a box of smuggled hair- dye. He figured the twins would never know it was gone and Jysella's hair could use some jazzing up.  
  
"What color did you grab, Val?" asked Jysella.  
  
"Umm... neon orange. Is that ok?" said Valin.  
  
"Neon orange! Mom and Dad won't like this. Let's do it!" moments later, Jysella emerged from the refresher with a head of neon hair.  
  
Valin laughed out loud. "I love it, Jys! I think it's a keeper-" but he was cut off by a sudden shriek from his mom, who had just entered the room.  
  
"JYSELLA! -" Valin's eyes were the size of datapads when he heard his Mom enter the room.  
  
"Umm, gotta fly Mom, gotta concert to see!" said Valin and they dodged by her and their father. "Well," said Valin, "I like it even if Mom doesn't. I think it's astral!"  
  
* * *  
  
Jaina basically had to drag Anakin out of hiding. She and Jacen ended up using the Force to levitate him out of the ship. They were almost to the stage when two small figures ran in front of them, chased by Mirax and Corran Horn. Jaina kept from giggling as Valin and Jysella evaded their parents. Valin ended up hiding behind Tenel Ka and Jysella behind Zekk. Jaina finally caught a glimpse of why Mirax was chasing them.  
  
"Neon Orange?!?" Jacen said in disbelief.  
  
Jaina giggled. "Well, Anakin, you are no longer alone with your hair problems."  
  
Valin and Jysella darted out onto the stage, with Corran and Mirax hot on their tails. They leapt off it into the screaming crowd, and squeezed into the front row and blended in with the rest of the raving crowd. Corran and Mirax leapt out after them, but the surging crowd carried them far, far away from their kids.  
  
The band took their spots onstage, and the crowd quieted. Tahiri began playing the first few notes, and the crowd roared. Among those in the first row were Mara and Luke, who were jumping up and down in excitement, screaming their heads off, and Leia and Han who were shouting their lungs out, and Valin and Jysella, waving and screaming like mad lunatics.  
  
Corran and Mirax looked lost and out of place, covering their ears and trying to work thier way out, when the song began and they stopped, began listening, tapping thier feet and rocking to the music. Then they went nuts, jumping and screaming and laughing, and joined the crowd.  
  
The song was about the inadequacies of the senate, exaggerating the deeds of several senators, especially Councilor Fey'lya. The crowd went nuts, especially as all knew of the Senate's problems.  
  
The song about what not to say to a Rancor was a big hit with the audience as well. However, the song that brought the house down was "Lowie's Song" sung by Jacen.  
  
(First verse: sung to the tune of "Leia's Theme," from ANH)  
  
My true love has gone away  
  
She said that she'd be back  
  
Someday  
  
Now it seems  
  
That she will stay  
  
O' how could I let  
  
Her  
  
Get away?  
  
The crowd erupted in cheers after the last verse has been sung. There was hardly a dry eye in the house. After the standing ovation, the band finished up with "Follow the Stars", a song about the future with better things yet to come. Once more the audience screamed until they were hoarse.  
  
The band members took their bows and basked in the sound of hundreds of beings cheering for them.  
  
* * *  
  
The Punks were lounging in a bar after the concert had ended. The kids all sat at one table, their parents at another.  
  
"Uh-oh," Jacen breathed. "Looks like trouble."  
  
Jaina and Zekk turned to follow Jacen's gaze. Jaina felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach. Zekk felt roughly the same sensation as he identified the bars four new occupants: the Horn family.  
  
Anakin pretended not to notice them, but he knew full well that Corran could sense his apprehension.  
  
Tahiri choked down a fresh fit of giggles at the sight of Jysella's neon hair.  
  
The quartet passed the adults seated near the entrance, headed straight for the Punks.  
  
Zekk swallowed hard. The oldest and one of the leaders-- he felt the responsibility to speak up first. "Uh. H-hi, Corran, Mrs. Horn. How did you like the concert?" He only hoped that the terror pouring off of him was less noticeable by the bravado he forced into his voice. Maybe bravado isn't exactly the word for it....  
  
Mirax ignored the question, and instead posed one of her own: "What have you seven done to my daughter!" She noted the change in Anakin's hair (which she found extremely hard to miss). "Anakin, do you know what happened?"  
  
Anakin, of course, wasn't entirely sure, but if Mirax was anything like his own mother, she wouldn't buy that Bantha fodder for a second. He decided honesty would have to be the best policy, whether it worked or not. Oh well. "Mrs. Horn, I'm sorry. They must have gotten the dye out of my room. I could have sworn the door was locked. From the inside, too. I guess I was mistaken."  
  
Mirax was fuming. "Oh, whatEVER!" she screamed. "I'll bet one of YOU did this!"  
  
Corran put a calming hand on his wife's shoulder. "Honey, I'm sure it was an accident. Let's not--"  
  
Mirax cut him off. "Oh, shut up, you! For all I know, YOU could have had something to do with this, Green!"  
  
Corran threw his arms up. "Hey! I washed that out years ago, as per your orders, Commander!"  
  
Jaina spoke up, not wanting to witness a drunken brawl, especially between two people that weren't drunk (but the press messes that stuff up anyway). "Mrs. Horn, I'm sure that will wash right out in a few days. Anakin doesn't have anything completely permanent."  
  
Jacen held up his index finger. "Ah, except for the bleach he got last week."  
  
Mirax's jaw hit the floor, and her temper went through the roof. "THE WHAT!!!!! BLEACH!!!!"  
  
Corran shrugged. "Well, that explains the orange color on her hair. Anakin, why don't you get the GOOD stuff?"  
  
Jaina and Zekk stood. "I know what we can do," she said calmly. "Zekk and I will go find some dye that matches the color of her original hair. We'll get enough of it to last until her hair grows out all the way. Okay?"  
  
Zekk nodded, not sure why he felt sorry for them.  
  
Mirax pulled her husband aside. She raised an eyebrow expectantly.  
  
Corran spread his arms in confusion. "What? What am I supposed to say?"  
  
Mirax thought. "Okay, we'll take their offer. But, I want to go with them to make sure they get the right color. Okay Green?"  
  
Corran snapped himself into a salute. "Yes ma'am."  
  
Mirax smiled smugly. "Good. I'm glad you agree. At ease soldier."  
  
As Corran walked back to the Punks' table behind his wife, he muttered to himself, but loud enough to be heard: "Geeze, and I thought Tavira was pushy."  
  
Zekk tried to be pleasant. "So? What's the verdict?"  
  
Mirax took a breath. "Okay. We'll take your offer. But we're coming with you."  
  
Jaina and Zekk nodded. "Alright. Shall we then?"  
  
Mirax nodded once, turned to the door, grabbing Jysella's hand. "You're coming too, young lady."  
  
Corran followed with Valin. "I'm not sure how," he said to his son. "But I'm almost POSITIVE that you had something to do with this."  
  
Jaina found her younger brother's wrist, pulled him after her, with much protest. "Why do I hafta go? You volunteered, not me!"  
  
"Oh, hush you," she scolded.  
  
"Consider it part of your punishment," Zekk added, "For being such a numb- skull."  
  
"And leave your hat behind," Jaina ordered, tossing the garment to Tahiri. "Hold this for me, Tahiri. He'll want it when we get back." Then said to Jacen, "We'll meet you back at the apartment if we're gone past twenty-two hundred. Got it?"  
  
Jacen threw her a casual salute. "Aye-aye Captain."  
  
Anakin mumbled and grumbled the whole way and back. His face was a neon red the whole time, even though people recognized him as one of the Punks and usually has wild hair colors. To him, Tahiri went waaay over board. So, he purchased some more semi-permanent in hopes to color over his hair disaster.  
  
Mrs. Horn was in a decidedly bad mood the whole time and everyone could sense Jysella and Valin's guilt and quiet amusement. Anakin couldn't figure out why the amusement: if he had Mirax and Corran chewing him out he'd not be in good spirits. Fortunately for the kids, Mirax wasn't Force sensitive and if she could sense their exhilaration, they'd probably be grounded for life. He sighed. Life was so complicated.  
  
* * *  
  
Once back at the ship, Anakin began working on his hair. First he tried the yellow dye. That only made his hair turn split-pea soup green with black streaks.  
  
A giggle from the doorway diverted his attention. It was Tahiri. "Well, at least my dye job gave you some character. Now, you'll just make people feel hungry!" 


End file.
